Have you ever experienced this? Somebody who is quite close vanishes from your life. This doesn’t need to be drastically like death. Imagine somebody joins your life, may it be in private life or at work and you are walking together for some time. You find out that you have similar interests, you think similar, have a similar sense of humor. Your discussions are inspiring for both of you and you are growing mentally just because of this relation.

This human becomes a true friend, spouse, colleague, training partner, … to you and you get used to this relation over time. You can’t even remember properly how it has been before you met him/her. In fact you consider this relation as given, as granted … but it never is, and it is never everlasting. And suddenly this person vanishes from your life. Maybe a close colleague is moving to another company, a good friend is moving into another town or things like that. That hits you and it hurts. You can’t imagine how you can manage being without him or her.

This happened more than once to me now and my grandma used to say: If a door closes for you, another door will open. And she is right, of course she is. But this does not help to reduce the pain when losing a close one. Nothing is so consistent like the change itself. There has been always changes in our lives and there always will be changes. We should get used to changes, but for some reason we are not. It hurts every single time. It’s like losing a part of myself. Sometimes you have to say good bye, even if you don’t want. But that’s life.

Reflecting my life I realized that I spent much time with waiting. Children usually wait for the next birthday, Christmas, vacation or other highlights. They wait to grow up. A few years later people wait for the weekend, for an upcoming party or date. Others wait for something to finish, like school, studies, loneliness. Some are even waiting for death.  In all these cases we wished that time might pass faster.

Or we are waiting for something to be happen, like waiting for the perfect girl, for the love of the life or waiting for the proposal of marriage. Sometimes we are waiting for a second chance and sometimes for a first one. Some are waiting for a good job or even money. There are so many possibilities to wait for something. But does it help?

And know what, suddenly you are realizing you have grown old while waiting and even more bad, you are still waiting. But was it worth to wait? Have you been happy with the outcome of your waiting? Wouldn’t it be better just to do something or to try something instead of waiting for something? Look back in your life, check your accomplishments in life. Did you accomplish them because of waiting or because of taking initiative? See.

What do you wait for?

What is happiness? Wikipedia tells me happiness is a mental state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. So this can be anything. Anything between contentment and intensive joy. This are worlds! Okay, maybe I better think by myself. What makes me happy? Family? Of course! Job? Maybe. Money?  Nah! Success? Should. Acknowledgement? Good chance. Friends? Close ones. Hobbies & activities? Depends. Love? Absolutely!

Am I happy? I think so. I have all I need in life. But why did I write I think so? Do I think or do I know? Looks like I am not sure about that or my subconscious mind tries to keep a door open. Why isn’t it easy to say “Yes, I am happy?”. Because of the certainty there might be something else, something better, which might make me more happy? Looks like I am not satisfied by my current happiness level. But why? Desire for more? Curiosity? Boredom? Or maybe absence of real problems? What am I waiting for? Why not adjusting the happiness expectation level to the current status quo? Why not defining myself as happy right now? Why not enjoying the things I have right now? Why not living in the present? Am I happy? Yes I am.

What is happiness for you? Are you happy? Do you know or do you think you are happy? Depends your happiness on others? Why?

Are you happy?