Everybody has dreams, goals in life. When we are younger even more. The world is open, so many things to do, to achieve, to see, to learn. So many possibilities. So many ” one day I’ll do this and that”. Everybody has a list of dreams, smaller and bigger ones. Dreams of a fulfilled life, happiness, family, places to visit, things to achieve. Who want’s to look back in age and regret? And know what, most of the time you regret the things you did not do. Yes there might be cases you regret something you did, which turned out as wrong decisions, but then you have learned something out of it, at least. But the things you did not do, those are the ones you will regret most.

So think about your big dreams. What are they? Family? House? Living abroad? Climbing Mount Everest? Whatever it is, how many of your big dreams have you realized so far? How many have you even started or tried? Think about it. This big dreams are the first ones we procrastinate. It’s not the right time to start it, maybe next year. But know what, there will be never the right time to realize a big dream. And there’s always something which can be used as an excuse to procrastinate. You do not have the money, you do not want to leave your current job, you do not meet all the prerequisites, it’s to risky to do this right now and so on. It never fits, so we procrastinate. We’ll always find a reason to tranquilize our conscience. And then suddenly you are old and some of the dreams can not be done anymore. If your dream is to cross the Atlantic ocean with a canoe, you shouldn’t wait until you are 70. So you simply run out of time and as a consequence out of your dreams. Time will decide for you and this is usually not the most optimal decision.

And when you start realizing that some of your dreams can not be achieved anymore you’ll feel bad, of course. Welcome in the midlife crisis. But there is a way out. Simply take your dreams seriously. Be aware of your dreams and be aware of the prerequisites and limits to start them in time. Make a plan how to achieve them. Break them down into smaller tasks. You want to run a marathon at least once in your life? It’s doable. Do the first step right now, create a training schedule for the next 2 years. Start slowly but regularly and increase continuously. Big dreams require proper preparation. To eat an elephant you need to cut him into smaller pieces you are able to chew.  To do that you need to know where to cut and you need a sharp knife. Plan to get a knife, plan to sharpen it, learn how to cut an elephant, make a schedule and stick to it. As simple as that. And the same strategy is applicable for your dream. Well, maybe you do not need the knife in each and every case 😉

Life is too short to procrastinate. Life is to valuable and precious to regret lost dreams. If you are having big dreams, then simply work on them, one after another. Stop dreaming your life, start living your dreams!

“You have exactly one life in which to do everything you’ll ever do. Act Accordingly.” – Colin Wright.

Christmas, the time at the end of the year which should be filled with peace and harmony. The time to reflect the year, the entire life. Time to become aware again of the important things in life, which are usually not material.

One aspect in this reflection game is anger. How many times last year have you been angry about something, about somebody? Honest answer please. More than a couple of times probably, maybe even once a day? More? What do you usually do when you are angry? Do you show it? Do you express it? Do you act on it? There is a huge range of possibilities. I am probably at the lower end of this range. It takes some effort to make me angry and hence I am not angry that often, rarely actually. On top comes that I do not really express anger as others might expect. Most of the time I stay calm and simply swallow. This has the effect that I am seen as calm and positive and a nice contemporary. Is this good? Well, at least for my environment and maybe even for me, short-term. But I am aware that this is not the best long-term strategy. I am working on this. and I know people at the other end of the scale which end up in rage even without reason. But that’s their nature, same as I have mine. This is nothing to judge about. There is no good or bad. The point is what you make out of that, how you act on your nature. You can consciously forgive to reduce the anger or you could attack and answer with revenge.

But what is anger? What triggers it? Does it come out of the blue? Anger if obviously the feeling you experience when something is not the way you want it to be. Why should you be angry if everything is nice and fluffy? Anger follows usually unmet expectations. Something or somebody does not behave as you expect it. But instead of checking our expectations we decide to become angry. Well, it’s much easier to search the problem in others or blame others. Why spending the effort to analyse where the anger really comes from? Yes, it is more effort to question the expectation itself. Why did we expect something to be in a certain way or somebody to act or behave in a certain way? Most of the time we do not even consider to communicate our expectations, but we are fast in complaining when they are not met. 

So one way to reduce anger is to work on your own expectations. But I agree this does not work out in all cases. What to do then? Well, one option is to hunt the bastard down and to kill him in a rage of revenge, or something like that. Does this help? Maybe at times, but most probably not, especially not if your victim has a similar attitude then yours. It’s not to hard to see the high potential of escalation in such a setup. Never give up, never step back, never surrender. The world has to feel my anger and has to burn! Will this make you feel better? There is a small chance it does, short-term, but only until you are hit back or your conscience catches up the activity chain and you will feel bad again. This time not about the origin of the anger, but rather about yourself and your lack of self-control. On the plus side, you have achieved a change and might it even be the exchange of a bad feeling with another bad feeling. Congratulations.

So what would I advice now with an imaginary raised index finger? Actually nothing. You are as you are and why should I claim any right to ask you to change? So I won’t. I simply describe what works for me in such a case and this is forgiveness. Simply forgive and all is good. Easily said and actually this is the option which requires more strength than any other. So many people rather prefer to defend their wrong expectations and to die at the battlefield of honor. Feel free to do so.

When pulled to such a battlefield it is not easy for me to drop all my armor and to hand over my weapons. Some people will attack you nonetheless, this happens. But you will be surprised what the majority of the fighters will do then, well, after looking confused at you. Doing the first step has the potential of being hurt. But do you think fighting will not harm you? Stop dreaming. There is a pretty good chance to get killed in the fight. There are always people who are better than you in something.

Forgiving is hard, but it releases your oppressed mind. Simply let go of the expectation and accept that things or people do not always act as you would wish. Most of the time people are not aware of your expectations and I believe that the majority of those cases never had a bad intention in mind. So why punish them and yourself because of unmet expectations? Simply let go the pressure and forgive.

Why do I write this down here these days? It’s Christmas, the time for forgiving. Why not giving it a try? Why not starting right now and here? The ability to forgive is the key to your own happiness and satisfaction. Give it a try and you might be surprised about the result.

And there is it again, Christmas, the time to step back, to relax, to think, to reflect. The celebration of peace, contentment, happiness, altruism, deceleration. So far the theory. And what do we do actually? This is the most stressful time in year. So many things to do, to prepare, to organize. It’s about to make close ones feel good, it’s about showing love and care. But for some reason we implement this good idea in a different way, we shower material stuff instead, believing to achieve that basic meaning of Christmas with presents. Do we really believe that love and care can be transferred via toys, ties and socks? How can the tenth watch or tea cup make us feel love or care? And then we feel the urge to be creative. Presents have to be better, larger, more expensive, more unique, more everything with every year. So we are spending hours in overcrowded shopping malls or on online shopping pages to find it, the one-of-a-kind Christmas present. Of course we need to outrival all other presents. And then all the social constraints, if we receive a present from somebody we feel the urge to give that person something too. Or why do we have difficulties to tell people that we do not want a present, some time together or a hug would be much more appreciated, but we do not say that. And how do you react if you get a present you do not need or want or like. Oh yeah, a forced smile, how inventive.

Christmas became an event of hypocrisy. We pretend to feel good but actually we don’t. We try to meet the expectations from society, the expectations from other people. We are so busy to buy love, care and appreciation with material gifts. We forgot the real meaning of satisfaction. Sitting with a steaming cup of coffee, watching a candle burning down. This is Christmas for me. We do not do this anymore. Instead we decide enervated after several hours present hunting for the voucher again, same as last year. Very creative and for sure this voucher will transfer our wish to make the targeted person feel good. Christmas became a big lie actually. It’s actually so sad.

But I am sure you’ll do it better. You will not throw unneeded material objects at your loved ones. You will appreciate spending time together and hugs more. I am sure you do.

I wish all of you a merry Christmas. I wish you some peaceful and quiet days. And now go and hug your loved ones with a smile. Merry Christmas!