Who are you? Have you ever spent some thoughts on who you are? In a sense of what defines you. What is the essence of your existence, in your opinion? What do you think are the main factors, which make you who you are? What formed you? And more important, do you have any idea what others see in you?

So many questions. So many thoughts about purpose, values, reason, motivation. But do you really know what defines you? This splits mainly into two categories. First, your self-esteem is tightly coupled with what other people think about you. Second, you don’t care about the opinion of others. The second case is the easier one, then you simply can define yourself what defines you. Think what is important to you and you are done. Some people are proud of their muscles, other proud of their brain and again others of their money or  influence or power. Piece of cake.

The first case is more unfortunate, since there is a dependencies on others. For example you are proud of your muscles and you put every free minute into sports and fitness to maintain or improve that state of yours. Some people might recognize your efforts and admire your state, but others might not. Others simply don’t care about this aspect and see fitness as a waste of time. In their eyes you are spending your time in a stupid way. The unfortunate thing is, if you pull your self-esteem out of the admiration others show for your passion, then you have lost. Similar with other drivers. You can be as intelligent, wealthy, powerful as you like. There will be always people, who don’t care about that specific aspect.

So why do we tie our well-being and self-esteem to something we can not control? Why do we create or accept that dependency? Wouldn’t it be better to decouple our feeling of self-worth from factors we can’t influence? The solution sounds so easy, the theory is clear. But many of us suck in the implementation. It’s easily said, but hard to follow through.

But life would be boring if it would be that easy. So think again, what defines you?