We all have them, plenty of expectations, most of them unconsciously. Many times we are expecting people to behave in a certain way. For example, you are driving your car and you are in a hurry. All slower drivers in front of you are becoming suddenly slow idiots. But in case you are having time, enjoying the car ride, all drivers in a hurry, pushing you from behind, are suddenly fast idiots. It’s a matter of expectation. How do you expect the others to behave to a certain point in time. If they don’t, you are perceiving them as abnormal troublemaker. And this is true for all circumstances, not only for car driving.
We are expecting all others to think like we do and to behave as we would behave, which is stupid if you give it a second thought. But we do this all the time, even in love matters. If we love somebody, we are expecting to be loved same way. If we feel close to somebody, we are expecting that this closeness and openness is recognized and returned. We are expecting that the other takes care and does not use this openness to attack. If we feel a distance to somebody, we are expecting the other to understand this. So many unsaid expectations. Of course this won’t work and we will get disappointed if some of the expectations will not be met. Implied expectation have such a great potential for misunderstandings. And not only that, it can lead to anger, even hate.
The solution is so simple and so complicated same time. There are two aspects:
- Just expect less. Easily said, but hard to implement.
- If you expect something, be aware of the expectation and communicate it.
Live can be so easy 😉