Power of the Moment

Raising kids is a challenge. If you would have asked me some years ago I would have denied that. In the meantime I know it’s everything else than simple. Every second you are spending with your kid and every word can change the behavior of your descendant long-term. I am sure you are remembering some key moments of your childhood which triggered something in you. Something like “I’ll never will behave this way” or “Wow, that’s great, I wanna be that way too.” If mom screams her lungs out when she meets a spider, what will the little daughter girl think? Yeah, she will think what a scary and dangerous animal and most probably will be scared by spiders too.

The problem now is, you don’t know all time when your child has such an important game-changing moment. You might not see if something burns into a kids mind as a response of your behavior in that moment. Sometimes you will find out days later, when your kid brings up a topic again which you already forgot. Like “Daddy, why did you say that …”. You don’t even remember clearly what you said exactly many days ago and then you are realizing that this single unimportant comment, mentioned along away, not even necessarily to your child, makes your kid think, thinking over a longer period of time. It became so important for you child that she is asking questions regarding to this many days afterwards.

Sometimes parents never will find out which moments influenced their kids and to which degree. But is this really a problem? Do you really need to know all these trigger moments? Can you control these moments and what they trigger actively? I don’t think so. I rather believe you should think about your behavior first. When you behave all time as you would like your kids to behave, I think these triggering moments will be positive triggers most of the time. And that’s all I can do and in fact that’s all I want. Isn’t it?